|July 15th, 2008|
"The Newtclear Tacos Of Barocket Obomber"by Taco Werewolf
18"x24" acrylic painting on Masonite
Barocket Obomber is elected President and Americans are all learning to speak Spanish. The elimination of the language barrier between Mexico and America, combined with increased immigration and better relations between both nations allows American nuclear scientists to collaborate with Latino Mexican fast-food entrepreneurs. Funded by former House of Representatives majority leader, Newt Gingrich, they are able to combine their skills to create the heralded Newtclear Taco restaurant chain. The radioactive Mexican fast-food franchise becomes a huge success in both countries and the delicious, explosive Newtclear Tacos are recognized as a symbol of unity around the world. Newt Gingrich is applauded for "reaching across the aisle" in support of such a noble multi-cultural cause. He even agrees to pose on the covers of liberal magazines wearing nothing but a pair of pink cotton briefs as an expression of his willingness to "change" from his ordinary underwear fashion choice of "tighty whities".
All is well both above and below the border until people start getting sick from eating the Newtclear Tacos. Common sense would dictate that people are dying from the ingestion of nuclear radiation inside the tacos but the Barocket Obomber administration, under guidance from Newt Gingrich and his Republican cronies, manages to trick the American people into believing it's not the radiation but the salmonella-tainted TOMATOES inside the Newtclear Tacos that are killing people and that these tainted tomatoes are coming from MEXICO.
All Mexican immigrants are then arrested and deported from the U.S. In an act of revenge, a rebel group of Mexican reconquistadors steal a nuclear missile from the U.S. military. They sneak it across the border to Juarez with plans to blow up the entire state of Texas with it. Unfortunately they receive faulty intelligence from one of the Mexican food entrepreneurs who worked with American nuclear scientists on the fabled Newtclear Tacos. This faulty intelligence suggested that the missile must be lifted off by using SALSA as fuel, and in doing this the missile explodes and splatters upon lift-off. Historians will later write that the whole episode eerily resembles "The Tower of Babel" story in the Bible. Newt Gingrich would deny any involvement and return to making occasional appearances on FOX News.
Obama, The Nuclear Taco Explosion From Nowhere
The Three Mexican Food Muses
Newt Gingrich Will Start A "Contract With Mexico"?
U.S. Fast Food Scientists In Mexico Need To Be Careful
When Will Obama Visit Mexico?
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